Barking Puppies & Sleeping Babies

I have the cutest six-month-old baby girl. As a result of her stage in life, there are several points in our day that look something like this:

I also have the cutest little 1.5-year-old shih tzu. He is handsome and likes to pose for pictures, chew on his ball, and protect his family. We live across the street from another family that has a little chihuahua who does his "business" in the front lawn several times a day. As a result, there are several points in our day that look like this:

When Katie was first born, I would get so annoyed with Charley for barking because not only would I have a barking dog, but also a crying baby. Then one day it dawned on me-- Charley would be a member of our family for the next 10-15 years, and having been a dog owner before, I knew it wasn't likely for his barking self to change. He would always try to protect us from that little dog across the street. Or the mailman. Or the kids who have the audacity to walk to school in front of our house. I could fight it and be in for 10-15 years of frustration, or I could allow my cute Katie to adapt and learn how to sleep through his barking spells. I chose the latter.

Making this choice meant when I was rocking my baby to sleep and Charley began alerting us to the dangers threatening the homestead (those birds on the power line are awfully menacing creatures), I wouldn't jump up and go tell him to be quiet, rather, I would continue rocking and singing as if nothing was wrong. When she was sleeping in her crib, if he barked I didn't immediately grab Charley and put him outside, I would calmly quiet him, and peek in on her to make sure she was still sleeping or settling herself back to sleep.

As I was reflecting on this whole puppy barking/baby crying fiasco that seemed to permeate our lives, I couldn't help but notice the affect my attitude has on the whole ordeal. When I would make a big deal about the barking dog, Katie would wake up and be awake for good. She was fussy. I was annoyed. Nobody won. However, when Katie would see me calmly react, she most often would drift back to sleep. My attitude impacted her nap more than the loud and obnoxious barking.

Upon this realization, I felt the spirit teach me that this is a true principle in most every aspect of parenting. There is so much noise in this world, and there will always be 'barking dogs'.

My daughters ideals and values about things like her worth, modesty, family values, work ethic, and language will be more shaped by my reaction to her questions, the things in the world around us, and the challenges to the principles we believe— whether those challenges come from the 'barking dogs' of media, friends, or personal thoughts. I can spend my time fighting them, or I can spend my time teaching about them.

If I, as a mother, freak out about sex in the media every time we encounter it, I can count on her perception of sex being skewed to one of two extremes. Either she will count me as a religious zealot and ignore everything I say, or she will be fearful of sex and avoid it in all its forms. Neither is healthy.

Rather, I need to take the calmer approach.  I need to help her work through her thoughts, questions, and feelings. As I do this, she will be more able to tune out the noise and focus on what she knows to be true. If she sees me have a healthy approach to sexuality and the media (or whatever the topic may be), she will be more likely to develop a healthy approach of her own.

I wish I could wrap her in a bubble and take her far away to some island, free from all the 'noise' in the world— but the truth of the matter is, we were sent here to be in the world so we could learn and grow and be tested by it. If I don't teach her how to take the test, the media or her peers will. I would much rather be an active parent and help her learn to navigate through life on her own, clinging to what she knows to be true. If she sees that I am calm about it, I know she will be too.